oVERPROCTECTING A CHILD IN TODAY'S SOCIETY IS OFTEN OVERLOOK BY ANY CHILD.GROWING UP I DIDN'T HAVE BOTH PARENTS SO MY BEHAVIOR WASN'T WHAT ANY PARENT WOULD WANT TO DEAL WITH.PARENTS WANT A SPITTING IMAGINE OF THEMSELVES SO THEY STRIVE TO PROTECT THEIR OWN CREATION BY SHOWING WHATS BEST FOR THEM. THEY ALSO FEEL THAT REPUATION PLAYS A BIG PART AS WELL .
Are we too overprotective of our children in effort to keep them safe? That is a very a question, as a matter of fact that is a question every parent should ask themselves. By overprotecting them we can teach them knowledge about how negative some of the media can be and how it can affect a child’s way of thinking. Showing them all the bad there is out there by setting regulations in their social life. Also, making sure that it sticks to their head the consequences of bad influences (drug use, drinking and driving, and/or hanging out with the wrong people). Is not so bad being overprotective because in the long run it would all come to play and our kids would realize that listening to their parents made them have a safe and healthy life.
Are parents these days really over protective? There is an abundance of violence, crime and malevolence. We can't blame parents for wanting to protect their children. In my opinion most parents get the wrong approximation on how to take care of their family and become over protective. I base my opinion on these reasons. Most parents control what their children do or who they socialize with. Over protecting children poisons the relationship between the child and the parent. As a result it becomes an obsession and paranoia. I think being over protective of our children can affect their life.
How would you react to your first born child? Most people in the United States overprotective of their children for many reason. In our world their lot of corrupted and wrong people but at the same time we shouldn’t shelter them. We are living in a time where it is ok to learn from your mistakes and live by it. There are many outcomes to neglect them of their real life experience. Some parents have their own beliefs how they should raise their kids and what is yours? (hook into)
In regard to content, I'd like to draw your attention to your first sentence, which I'd like you to examine for logic, and then for placement within the paragraph.
"Overprotecting a child" is not usually "overlooked by children", as it is not an issue children are concerned with-- It is a concern for adults.
Please clarify and explain your idea and then arrange them in an order that progresses towards your thesis, which is currently your first sentence.
In today’s society, it is very controversial whether parents are too overprotective with their children or not. From my observation, parents take in the effort to keeping them safe to an extreme. Do parents ever think of the negative consequences they might cause for the psychosocial development of children and youth? With that being said, a population-wide data shows that many of today’s youth are safer that at any previous time in history.
I like where you are going with this into, butu it should be examined for missing words and sentence fragment/incomplete ideas, as well as mispellings that alter the meaning of your ideas.
What would really give your ideas strength is using transitional phrases/words to lead from one sentence to the next because they show the relationships that idea have with one another and therefore your argument. Try working in words such as "although", "despite" and "regardless" to show the relationship between the idea of being protective and the benefits that can be gained or lost from that.
Nice work! My citique centers on minor issues such as stating: "I base my opinion on these reasons." Just say it-- you don't need to announce you are saying it!
Your thesis statement should be a little more specific-- how can being overprotective of children affect their lives?
And one more issue: please reconsider your use of teh word approximation as its not appropriate in this context.
Parents these days are too overprotective over their children. Are society is simply full with dangerous and violence. According to national crime victimization survey, U.S. department of justice, teens from 16 to 19 were three and one half times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape. This makes guardians think and pursue that streets are simply bad. Their children lives and security are depending in what they decide was better for them.
Walking home and seeing drunk people in streets is relly difficult for me. Specially everytime I see a drunk driver it really annoys me because my cousin Javier died from this terrible cause. Parents that are too overprotective with thier children are doing the right thing. Streets are full with iireponsible people and you never know if your child is going to be the next on line. Dealing with society is really disturbing and frustrating for children security and safety.
These days we are over protected of our children. This world is getting a lot more dangerous. We are getting overprotected and doing whatever to keep our children safe. If let them out to much, they would try to do things they hard try. We don’t our kids will be into drugs and drinking alcohol. We want the best for our kids and to stay away from danger. Being overprotect is the best way to keep our kids.
Do you think it's important for children to explore the world despite the dangers? Do you sometimes think you should have a tighter leash? Children cannot be protected all the time, and sometimes need to be exposed to risk, so that they learn for themselves. Parents need to be more flexible and allow their children to control their own lives.
Children. Not safe. Everyday-and in harms way. In their daily schedule taking in all kinds of media from TVs and radios can harm them mentally. Also some children are being neglected from parents and others. In addition, bullying is another subject to this topic for the reason that kids are not protected from bullies.
Children. Not safe. Everyday-and in harms way. In their daily schedule taking in all kinds of media from TVs and radios can harm them mentally. Also some children are being neglected from parents and others. In addition, bullying is another subject to this topic for the reason that kids are not protected from bullies.
Parents fear for their children’s safety, because we aren’t with them all the time and we can protect them for anything bad that could happen to them, nowadays we should know with who our children are getting involve?, What they doing after school?, What cartoon they watching and video games they playing that are violence?. We should keep a closer watch on our kids to protect them and monitor the negative things they encounter
A parent should ask themselves: Am I doing the right thing for my children? My children should not watch television in certain channels. My children should know their right and wrong. I want my children to be in good spot where there would no violence. I want my children to stay focused in school and do their homework right after school. A parent should not their children walk home alone unless the parents live close by home. A parent should always talk to their children, about violence before the child gets into a fight. The children should not play video games that it could violence to themselves. A parent should buy their children a cell phone to see if they have gone to school or keep to an eye on them. A parent should not let their children listen to violence because the children could learn the lyrics and that’s when they will learn how to disrespect their parent. A parent should always make sure that they are doing the right thing with their children because they should know the parent does not want to have their children in an effected life with all these violence that’s goes around in life.
Intro #1 What does prohibiting children from experiencing life have to do with being protective with them? A lot of researches prove that parents find it a way of protecting their kids by controlling them and not letting them do a lot of things that they want. They don’t really understand that they just complicating things. Parents can cause a lot of suffocation and stress to the children. They should have more trust in their children. Most importantly parents should let their children experience the real world so they can be independent enough to face reality. Intro#2 Occasionally when I’m driving pass after midnight I observe little young girls in the street hanging out with their friends, I question myself if the parents don’t care enough to let them be outside so late. Parents should take more care of their child and not give them so much freedom that can harm them. A lot of times now days in society we hear about girls that are missing, then later on the police find their body death or sometimes they don’t even find it at all. There is a lot of danger in the world that they are at risk every day; the job of parent should be to protect them. Most parents act like they don’t care and those who care always have excuses like they work a lot.
oVERPROCTECTING A CHILD IN TODAY'S SOCIETY IS OFTEN OVERLOOK BY ANY CHILD.GROWING UP I DIDN'T HAVE BOTH PARENTS SO MY BEHAVIOR WASN'T WHAT ANY PARENT WOULD WANT TO DEAL WITH.PARENTS WANT A SPITTING IMAGINE OF THEMSELVES SO THEY STRIVE TO PROTECT THEIR OWN CREATION BY SHOWING WHATS BEST FOR THEM. THEY ALSO FEEL THAT REPUATION PLAYS A BIG PART AS WELL .
ReplyDeleteAre we too overprotective of our children in effort to keep them safe? That is a very a question, as a matter of fact that is a question every parent should ask themselves. By overprotecting them we can teach them knowledge about how negative some of the media can be and how it can affect a child’s way of thinking. Showing them all the bad there is out there by setting regulations in their social life. Also, making sure that it sticks to their head the consequences of bad influences (drug use, drinking and driving, and/or hanging out with the wrong people). Is not so bad being overprotective because in the long run it would all come to play and our kids would realize that listening to their parents made them have a safe and healthy life.
ReplyDeleteAre parents these days really over protective? There is an abundance of violence, crime and malevolence. We can't blame parents for wanting to protect their children. In my opinion most parents get the wrong approximation on how to take care of their family and become over protective. I base my opinion on these reasons. Most parents control what their children do or who they socialize with. Over protecting children poisons the relationship between the child and the parent. As a result it becomes an obsession and paranoia. I think being over protective of our children can affect their life.
ReplyDeleteHow would you react to your first born child? Most people in the United States overprotective of their children for many reason. In our world their lot of corrupted and wrong people but at the same time we shouldn’t shelter them. We are living in a time where it is ok to learn from your mistakes and live by it. There are many outcomes to neglect them of their real life experience. Some parents have their own beliefs how they should raise their kids and what is yours? (hook into)
ReplyDeleteHi Malissa,
ReplyDeleteIn regard to content, I'd like to draw your attention to your first sentence, which I'd like you to examine for logic, and then for placement within the paragraph.
"Overprotecting a child" is not usually "overlooked by children", as it is not an issue children are concerned with-- It is a concern for adults.
Please clarify and explain your idea and then arrange them in an order that progresses towards your thesis, which is currently your first sentence.
In today’s society, it is very controversial whether parents are too overprotective with their children or not. From my observation, parents take in the effort to keeping them safe to an extreme. Do parents ever think of the negative consequences they might cause for the psychosocial development of children and youth? With that being said, a population-wide data shows that many of today’s youth are safer that at any previous time in history.
ReplyDeleteGeo,
ReplyDeleteI like where you are going with this into, butu it should be examined for missing words and sentence fragment/incomplete ideas, as well as mispellings that alter the meaning of your ideas.
What would really give your ideas strength is using transitional phrases/words to lead from one sentence to the next because they show the relationships that idea have with one another and therefore your argument. Try working in words such as "although", "despite" and "regardless" to show the relationship between the idea of being protective and the benefits that can be gained or lost from that.
Fernando,
ReplyDeleteNice work! My citique centers on minor issues such as stating: "I base my opinion on these reasons." Just say it-- you don't need to announce you are saying it!
Your thesis statement should be a little more specific-- how can being overprotective of children affect their lives?
And one more issue: please reconsider your use of teh word approximation as its not appropriate in this context.
Parents these days are too overprotective over their children. Are society is simply full with dangerous and violence. According to national crime victimization survey, U.S. department of justice, teens from 16 to 19 were three and one half times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape. This makes guardians think and pursue that streets are simply bad. Their children lives and security are depending in what they decide was better for them.
ReplyDeleteWalking home and seeing drunk people in streets is relly difficult for me. Specially everytime I see a drunk driver it really annoys me because my cousin Javier died from this terrible cause. Parents that are too overprotective with thier children are doing the right thing. Streets are full with iireponsible people and you never know if your child is going to be the next on line. Dealing with society is really disturbing and frustrating for children security and safety.
ReplyDeleteThese days we are over protected of our children. This world is getting a lot more dangerous. We are getting overprotected and doing whatever to keep our children safe. If let them out to much, they would try to do things they hard try. We don’t our kids will be into drugs and drinking alcohol. We want the best for our kids and to stay away from danger. Being overprotect is the best way to keep our kids.
ReplyDeleteDo you think it's important for children to explore the world despite the dangers? Do you sometimes think you should have a tighter leash? Children cannot be protected all the time, and sometimes need to be exposed to risk, so that they learn for themselves. Parents need to be more flexible and allow their children to control their own lives.
ReplyDeleteChildren. Not safe. Everyday-and in harms way. In their daily schedule taking in all kinds of media from TVs and radios can harm them mentally. Also some children are being neglected from parents and others. In addition, bullying is another subject to this topic for the reason that kids are not protected from bullies.
ReplyDeleteChildren. Not safe. Everyday-and in harms way. In their daily schedule taking in all kinds of media from TVs and radios can harm them mentally. Also some children are being neglected from parents and others. In addition, bullying is another subject to this topic for the reason that kids are not protected from bullies.
ReplyDeleteParents fear for their children’s safety, because we aren’t with them all the time and we can protect them for anything bad that could happen to them, nowadays we should know with who our children are getting involve?, What they doing after school?, What cartoon they watching and video games they playing that are violence?. We should keep a closer watch on our kids to protect them and monitor the negative things they encounter
ReplyDeleteA parent should ask themselves:
ReplyDeleteAm I doing the right thing for my children? My children should not watch television in certain channels. My children should know their right and wrong. I want my children to be in good spot where there would no violence. I want my children to stay focused in school and do their homework right after school. A parent should not their children walk home alone unless the parents live close by home.
A parent should always talk to their children, about violence before the child gets into a fight. The children should not play video games that it could violence to themselves. A parent should buy their children a cell phone to see if they have gone to school or keep to an eye on them. A parent should not let their children listen to violence because the children could learn the lyrics and that’s when they will learn how to disrespect their parent. A parent should always make sure that they are doing the right thing with their children because they should know the parent does not want to have their children in an effected life with all these violence that’s goes around in life.
Intro #1
ReplyDeleteWhat does prohibiting children from experiencing life have to do with being protective with them? A lot of researches prove that parents find it a way of protecting their kids by controlling them and not letting them do a lot of things that they want. They don’t really understand that they just complicating things. Parents can cause a lot of suffocation and stress to the children. They should have more trust in their children. Most importantly parents should let their children experience the real world so they can be independent enough to face reality.
Intro#2
Occasionally when I’m driving pass after midnight I observe little young girls in the street hanging out with their friends, I question myself if the parents don’t care enough to let them be outside so late. Parents should take more care of their child and not give them so much freedom that can harm them. A lot of times now days in society we hear about girls that are missing, then later on the police find their body death or sometimes they don’t even find it at all. There is a lot of danger in the world that they are at risk every day; the job of parent should be to protect them. Most parents act like they don’t care and those who care always have excuses like they work a lot.