- Pick one quote (or any text from the article) that you found important. Explain why you think it is significant.
- Keeping in mind our class discussion of the article, what is it that makes being a female breadwinner unattractive for many males?
- Respond to 2 of your peers' comments about the article.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
She Works, They're Happy
Re-read the artcile, She Works, They're Happy, underlining key points and annotating the text. Then answer the following questions. Responses should be a minimum of 5-7 sentences.
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“Women no longer need to marry up educationally or economically, so they are more likely to pick men who support a more egalitarian relationship.”
ReplyDeleteObviously you want a partner to be supportive and have at least some type of egalitarianism. Without that the relationship is unhealthy and going to run in to a lot of problems. Just because the woman is the “breadwinner” she still going to need a reliable partner that can accept that and help out with the responsibilities of the household that she has no time work on it.
One of the quotes that i found important in the article was illustrated by Andrea Doucet when she stated that '' men have a hard time adjusting to a womens equal or greater earning power'' and that women ''struggle with giving up their power at home and controlling tasks'' but now a days the reality is that times have changed and after reading this blog it actually hit me on how high the percentage is now during the recession within american families, where women are the ones who make a higher salary then their husbands. An even crazier statistic then that proves as well that the marriges are happy and less couples are divorcing so my thought is that television series should start catching up on this trend because in every show I can think of theirs no women dominated family's and husbands that are doing laundry and commercials are very sexist as well. So lets get with the program cause believe it or not television has a big influence on a humans frame of mind.
ReplyDelete1. (Quote) “I picked him not because I needed a meal ticket, but because I liked the fact that he respected me and had no problem sharing the responsibilities of daily life with me. More and more women now are able to make those choices.”
ReplyDelete*The woman is describing how she didn’t come into a relationship for an easier life. They both respect each other in any way. It doesn’t matter who wears the pants in the marriage. If someone is willing to work with each other, I believe the relationship can get stronger.
Question #2
ReplyDeleteSince the dun of time men have been known to be the breadwinner in the relationship. Dad going to work in the morning mom staying home and taking the kids to school, this is what we saw as kids. To have things change is humiliating for some men because they feel that this means that they themselves cannot provide for their family, making female breadwinners unattractive.
Women being the breadwinner can be unattractive to some males for various reasons. It can range from simple pride of them to all the way to respect from their peers. Some guys are very anal bout their image that maybe just the thought of the female having a higher income can make them feel uncomfortable. In the other hand, there are males that accept it and enjoy every minute.
ReplyDelete2.2. “That it is not money that makes males want to be the breadwinner in a relationship, what is it that makes being a female breadwinner unattractive for many males?”
ReplyDelete*My opinion is that men do feel intimated by women in everything. For example, if women decided to become a police officer, men would feel like that’s a man’s job. Men do have pride but woman do also. It makes a woman stronger and more independent in being over the top to do a guy’s job.
3. What reason could the author have for including the information in paragraph #5 page 3 in the text?
ReplyDelete*Within a marriage, one can earn health insurance. It actually can help a family out due to one may stay home taking care of the family, while the other has a full time job to provide for the family.
4. How does it relate to the rest of the text?
ReplyDelete*With the daily routine played usually by mothers: taking the kids to school, snack time, doing activates with the kids, and making sure dinner is prepared, men are now taking charge of that. For example, Mr. Walder feels that his wife has the harder job because she is the provider of the household. She has to make sure not only herself but her family is well taking care of. She basically wears the pants in the marriage. I feel that if a man that wants to stay at home might feel a bit pity on the wife due to there is a lot of work in a day especially if the children are infants. In this situation, Mr. Walder had a stressful job. You should love your job and look forward everyday to going to work. If not, the guy in this article for instance can be a stay home dad.
1. The quote I found important to me was “I think she has the harder job,” said by Mr.Walder . I think it’s significant, because men think they know all the troubles wives have at home with the house work and children, but they really don’t. The majority likes to do a lot of assuming, in the way they feel house work is super easy, and they shouldn’t be complaining. They feel that the wives could have it harder in the sense of being out of the house and actually working a real job, and dealing with totally different people. So, I love the idea of swapping roles, so everything can be equal and so men can know how it feels.
ReplyDelete@david
ReplyDeleteyou really can't depend on tv to make people learn. What if tv was never invented. What would you do now?
@ Geo: I agree with your comment. Because both partners have a vested interest, it makes collaboration essential to the financial and emotional success of the relationship. To declare the breadwinner as more important ignores the contribution of the other partner.
ReplyDelete1.A quote that i found important in the article was "a sociologist at rutgers has found that among men in thier 50s, having a wife who earns more money is associated with poor health". In my opinion this cant be true, a person is more likely to have health problems when they are too stress, have more resposiblity,only work and pay bills. Instead, men should be more happy to have someone supporting them with some extra money. Having a wife earn more or the same is better so both can share and have an equal relationship. Having wifes supporting men, it will be more helpful for their health conditons because men will feel less frustrate and worrie at the end of the day.
ReplyDelete1. “There is an issue for men of: ‘What is my value here if I’m not bringing in money? I understand you want a communicative, empathic guy who does housework and parenting, but how much pride can I take in that?’ ” I think it’s significant because most men have a lot of pride. They think if they don’t make enough money they have no value in the relationship. They take no pride no pride and value in housework and parenting.
ReplyDeleteThe quote I chose is “Men, for instance, sometimes have time adjusting to a woman’s equal or greater earning power”. What I want to reflect on is that it’s not always a wrong thing to have a partner that has a better occupation then you or is in equal terms to. To me this is significant because if I was put in a situation that I lost my job I would be happy that my partner is there to support me. I also want to add that when you are committed to someone you should always support them no matter what even in marriage.
ReplyDelete3rd question
ReplyDeleteA reason the author could have that in those types of relationships, people can stress it a lot and that stress could lead to other health factors. She felt it needed to be stated in the text so it can bring down a little sense of realism because stress is always an issue.
2.As a man I think that having a wife that’s the breadwinner is not bad at all. Instead, having someone else supporting you is essential to maintain a great relationship and have a better income for the future the children. We shouldn’t make a big deal if the wife is the breadwinner because after all, everyone is capable to become successful in life, which in some cases women are the ones. Men should realize that we all equal and capable of earning more money than someone else.
ReplyDelete1) Pick one quote (or any text from the article) that you found important. Explain why you think it is significant.
ReplyDelete. “Woman no longer need to marry up educationally or economically, so they are more likely to pick men who support more egalitarian relationships” I find this quote to be significant because not only does it shows how independent women really are, but it also shows how they care for their relationship.
2) Keeping in mind our class discussion of the article, where in it was said that it is not money that makes males want to be the breadwinner in a relationship, what is it that makes being a female breadwinner unattractive for many males?
ReplyDeleteIn today’s society we see that women have become more independent, there for not needing male support for daily things like they once needed. Men have huge egos so staying home and doing house hold chores really gets to them, in a way they are the upset that they aren’t the breadwinners.
@ leamsy.
ReplyDeleteVery true
@ Fernando-- I agreee that many men do not take pride in housework and parenting. I'd like to challenge you to articulate why!
ReplyDelete1)Pick one quote (or any text from the article) that you found important. Explain why you think it is significant.
ReplyDeleteThe quote I found interesting in this article is on Page 3: “What is my value here if I’m not bringing in money? I understand you want a communicative, empathic guy who does housework and parenting, but how much pride can I take in that?”
I believe this quote it is an important point in this article because in the general social life now days a lot of men feel that they have to be the main source of income of the house. For a man is a way of feeling they have the power and the pride of supporting he’s family. It can be stressful to feel the opposing by stating home doing housework and allow the wife to be the breadwinner, especially with the social expectation that man always have to the breadwinner.
@everybody
ReplyDeletewhat about gay couples. How does it affect them? Male/male Female/female relationships.
Its not neccesarily that men find it unattractive that women are making more money cause theres nothing unattractive about being and independent profesional. At the end of the day i feel it mainly comes down to a sence of pride for the man and how they watched the important male figures in their lives as they grew up. So mainly they gotta just have a sence of security about the situation and just know that the marrige and the children is the main thing that counts and that the ego's should take a back seat.
ReplyDelete@ javie
ReplyDeletei agree with you because men shouldnt be the only ones that pay the bills, rent, etc. Women should support men too.Supporting each other will lead to a better relationship.
2)Keeping in mind our class discussion of the article, where in it was said that it is not money that makes males want to be the breadwinner in a relationship, what is it that makes being a female breadwinner unattractive for many males?
ReplyDeleteI believe that for many males it is unattractive for a female to be a breadwinner because they feel like they lose their power and their pride which is something really important for a man. As society advance things change, now it can be more possible to see this situation but still it is not an easy feeling for a man to accept and do what the wife is expect to do (stay home and take over the housework, take care of the kids etc) while woman work hard and bring in all the money.
@ Fernando
ReplyDeleteMany men don't have enough pride so there are women that would walk all over men. But then again you that works both ways. For example like i said in sentence #4 I feel that if a man that wants to stay at home might feel a bit pity on the wife due to there is a lot of work in a day especially if the children are infants.
@Ferrante
ReplyDeleteBecause most men think this is a womens duty and its something they shouldn't be doing.
2. The reason for men to find female breadwinners unattractive is because of the power, pride, respect, insecurity, and independence. Men like to be the breadwinners because they feel having the money is how you get the power. By power I mean, ruling your life, following his rules. You do what he says because “you need him”. By pride I mean, they don’t like women being superior, because then they don’t feel like real men. Most men see women with a weak character, once they are compared to them. They might also find it unattractive because they of insecurity, meaning they’re scared of their wife heading their own way. Like I said before men like to have all the control, so an independent woman can intimate a man. Having less than them , means you need them more than they need you.
ReplyDeleteMy quote is “Today, men need their wives’ income,” says Joshua Coleman. I found this important in the story because nowadays men are getting laid off from jobs. There are more opportunities for women than men. For example, businesses need women to assistant them and its looks more formal. Women are getting paid more than men. Women are getting more education than men to achieve their goals in life.
ReplyDeleteI think females’ breadwinners are unattractive for many males because men have their pride. Men don’t like women to get paid more than them. And they fell like they are the ones that should be making the more money. Sometimes men feel like they are suppose to support the family and bring food to the table and have their women at home.
ReplyDelete2. What makes female breadwinners so unattractive to many males is that most men think that the males should be the ones bringing in the most money in the house. When a female is the one bringing the most money they seem superior to the male and this becomes an issue. They want to be the ones that support the whole family.
ReplyDeleteThe information that is on page 3 in paragraph #5 in the text is important to the article. I find it important because people stress out throughout their lives. For instance, they have to get work done in time. Sometimes they feel pressure at work. They have to get prepared for presentations at work and probably selling their product. But towards the ends everything is a sacrifice because you get some money in return.
ReplyDeleteQuestion #1
ReplyDelete* "Today, men need their wives' income". This quote is significant because that wasn't how it used to be. As year pass, things change. Now it's us women who getting pay more than men’s. Men use that and take advantage of that to get money from the women.
@ gio..
ReplyDeleteyour right u cant depend on t.v to learn but when you think about it most people watch telivison for like 3-5 hours a day so regardless its influencing them in some sort of nature.
@malissa
ReplyDeletepity shouldn't be an issue. If the man has the guts to make a family he should have the guts to be the husband nd parent he initially wanted without pity. He has to do what he has to do no questions asked. Thats my opinion
@ leamsey
ReplyDeletei agreee
I have two personal opinions on question two. What I would like to say is that one, men take a lot of pride being the ones who work hard and bring home the money. When they assume that women are to stay home and cook, clean around the house etc. That is their opinion but my second part of the opinion is that I would be happy and proud of my girl or wife that she got ahead in life and that’s is successful . I wouldn’t like to be with someone who has to count on her man to provide everything for
ReplyDeleteThis is telling me that women have more responsibilities, and that day making more money then the men are in the past years. So now we know that wives can have jobs because there is a lot more freedom for women to go out there and get a job. You know what it would be ok because men can stay with the kids and try to do the mother job and not always working. This is telling me that now women have more power and that if a man would ever get fire or laid off that they would go with no problem and look for one.
ReplyDeleteQuestion #1
ReplyDelete“I picked him not because I needed a meal ticket, but because I liked the fact that he respected me and had no problem sharing the responsibilities of daily life with me.” This was the quote that I have chosen that I thought was significant. I think that this quote was the females point of view of having her as the breadwinner and enjoying it not because she choose him for having a better income but because of who he is and how he treats her and his duties in their daily life. Also this quote depicts how more woman now are able to make the choice of getting a male companion based on how they are not on how much they make.
a quote that i found important was “in my marriage ,I have more education and ,because he’s retired, more income”.Being a breadwinner often enough is because the husband or the wife lose their job as Stephanie coontz stated on her quote.
ReplyDeleteQuestion #2
ReplyDeleteBeing a female breadwinner is unattractive to many males. Males find it threatening to see a female breadwinner because they think that they will lose power on things. Many men find it an offence to their pride if for example two young adults go out to a restaurant and a female paid is unacceptable to many men. Men also feel that they have to be the breadwinners In their relationship and if the female is instead it would be unattractive to them. In my opinion I myself do not find females that are breadwinners unattractive because like NeYo said independent woman are the best woman and I agree.
Many males in today’s society are unattractive to female that are breadwinner because they feel that they don’t have the power to support their families. They just can’t accepted the fact that women are becoming breadwinners and can support them self . a men like to feel that they are in control of the relationship by being the breadwinner of the relationship but in today’s society women are becoming breadwinner and the males are becoming scared
ReplyDelete1 For example in paragraph three there is a quote “ Overall, the evidence shows that the shifts within marriages — men taking on more housework and women earning more outside the home — have had a positive effect, contributing to lower divorce rates and happier unions.” It is significant is that a married couple should share the roles in parenting on like house work and taking care of the children and cooking so both of them share similar responsibilities and have more egalitarian relationship.
ReplyDeleteSharing such roles like breadwinner and housekeeping allows couples to appreciate the work which their partner does and to feel more close to each other which can help to contribute to create a stronger and more stable marriage.
2 The thing that makes female breadwinners unattractive to many males is the males pride is so high on being the one to support his wife and kids its common that in most relationships the male is the main breadwinner and also the male wants the power in the relationship and when a women is the main breadwinner it effects the males pride and self stem when the couples are working the don’t see each other while both are working there is a fear of cheating on one another and the male becomes jealous
ReplyDelete3 it relates to the rest of the text because the author asserts that aptitudes about more egalitarian roles between a husband and wife is a change that currently there have been a shift in behavior. The Present generation is more open minded and willing to share and exchange traditional roles in a marriage, while the acceptance for change is harder among members of older generations, she includes such information to support her thesis that change is happening and social expectation in a relationship are transforming.
ReplyDeleteI agree with with Rudy32. Like he said most men would feel ashamed if a woman took them out to eat and paid for the meal.I never let my girlfriend pay for dinner. I always pay for it. I feel thats what a good boyfriend would do for his girlfriend. But females could be breadwinners too.
ReplyDelete@ Geovanny
ReplyDeleteI believe that for gay couples does affect them as well because believe it or not there is a lot of situations about gay couples that for every relationship or marriage there’s always one who symbols the strongest in the relationship, in other words there is a breadwinner in this type of relationships, there’s always one who takes the place of the woman and one who takes the place of the man even if they both are gays, so this is why it affects them because the one who plays the role of the man who is the strongest in the relationship and the breadwinner, will definitely feel bad if they stay at home.
@ Javie
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you because it is admirable a woman who not only does house-work and take care of the children but also a woman who becomes professional and earns a good salary to help out her husband and be a good example for her kids.
In my opinion I don’t think is nice a woman who stays the whole day at home and doesn’t go to school or work at all it kind of make them lazy. Every woman has the chance and opportunity to do more than just stay at home doing house-work.
i could say i agree with Geovanny. Woman should look for men who have a good occupation and high standards. But it always doesn't come out to money making a relationship work.
ReplyDeleteReply to Joe. He has a good point because in this generation of marriage it is common to see couples try to keep their marriage the old fashion way but no people want to try new things and experiment but sometimes it does not come out successful and tend to screw things up. sort of say like a trend.
ReplyDelete“It put doubt in my mind: maybe there is a part of him very comfortable with me making the lion’s share of the money long term.”
ReplyDeleteMen typically like to be in control of most situations. With most men, making more money makes them feel that they are more important or have more control over their household and/or lives. As far back as the Middle Ages society has been molded for men to be dominant and hold a higher status than women. Women were expected to stay home, cook, clean, care for the children, and satisfy their husband. It is almost like men are programmed to be the stereotypical "manly-man"; successful, the breadwinner, and the person in control of their home. Women now are making more of a difference. They have a voice, rights, and aspirations, therefore encouraging and allowing them to hold higher career positions and are making the "lions share of the money long term". A successful woman can be intimidating and sometimes unattractive because of one reason. A mans spouse has swapped from being a typical housewife to a strong successful working woman.